Clothesline Fresh - Country Myth Breaker # 17

Clothesline fresh, country fresh scent, smells like a country garden, those of us from the city have all seen our share of country clad laundry soap commercials. The token red barn glows in the distance. Closer in, clothes adorn the line. Each piece is so straight and evenly spaced you'd believe a team of sophomore geometry students hung them as their final class projects. Even more perfect, the lightest of breezes launches an 'oh so soft' billow along the stain free front row.

Even I think, who wouldn't want their clothes to be clothesline fresh? And, don't those people own underwear? Ahhhh! I use my clothesline. I must. There is not a man in the five-state region willing to rise to the challenge of touching my daunting propane line and antiquated fuse box. Like my outhouse, my dryer is purely ornamental. 

Despite this forced march to my clothesline the results can be startlingly adequate. Yet as a good Cidiot (city idiot), It would be negligent of me if I did not point out a few hazards of clotheslines to budding country converts. Beware, hanging your skivvies in the wild is not all its cracked up to be. Consider these dilemmas.

Seven of Ten Birds Prefer to Defecate Out of Doors - Avian species have a remarkable instinct for textile quality. Anyone doubting this should hang their Thai Silk robe on one end of the clothesline. Put a flannel shirt on the opposite side. At the end of the day tally the results. 

Sheets Attract Wind - Kids have a new kite? You can plan your day around it, guaranteed! Just wash your bedding in the morning and place it on your line. Rest assured, Mariah herself will blast through your backyard. Kites, bedding, lingerie, pugs - anything with a flat surface will dance its way through the sky, only to impale itself in full display atop the silo of your local feed mill.

Remember the One Foot Rule - Most educated people know the three second rule. No matter where in your home you drop a piece of silverware, if you can retrieve it in three seconds or less you can eat off it without rinsing first. The one-foot rule, however, is only taught in rural school districts. It goes like this: Any textile on a clothesline that sags to within 12 inches of sweet Mother Earth, via the wind or any other means, must immediately be scent marked by every male canine (dogs, coyotes, wolves or prairie dogs) inside a three mile radius. 

Animals Have Hair - Strangely enough farms are inundated with animals. Go figure. With all due respect to clothespins, they do little to remove hair. It takes four fabric softener sheets and a small nuclear plant to fluff out an intricate weaving of fur and feathers. During the spring shed I keep a HAZMAT team on stand by just to clean my lint traps. 

Remodeling Your House? - You can save a fortune in costly building materials. Just hang your cotton towels out to dry on the clothesline. Not only will they dry stiff enough to be use as support beams, the bird shit will act as an adhesive for roofing projects. 

Remember on that warm spring day, when the cottonwoods are spawning and your best angora sweater has just hit the line, imagine, within a matter of hours it will be more than you ever dreamed possible. And, as always, it will smell 'clothesline fresh!'

Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columns and articles. Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing: 3 Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices!

1. Don't Drive Your Car This is, of course, the most obvious solution. If you never take the old Plymouth out the driveway, then it won't matter that at current gas prices it takes $125 to fill up the 30 gallon gas tank, or that you only get about 2.51 miles to the gallon. If you never drive, you could care less. Of course, I know what you're going to say. "But Tim, I have places I need to go-like work. And the kids have school and soccer practice. And then there's grocery shopping and yoga lessons and dinner at the Richardson's and blah blah blah and...." OK, I get the point. Not everyone can sit around the house writing not-so-funny articles and searching the Internet for Drew Barrymore photos like me. I fully understand that some of you have a life. But just because you don't drive your own car doesn't mean you can't get around. The answer?


2. Carpool It's seems so simple now doesn't it. Instead of using your gas-Use Someone Else's! Have someone else pay $5.50 a gallon for gas to take your kids to school. Make someone else dip into their retirement fund just so they can cover the gas bill needed to get you to the office and back everyday. Make someone else get a second job so that they can have a full tank of gas in their SUV when your daughter needs to cruise the mall. It's so simple.Of course, the concept behind carpooling is that everyone takes turns driving. So in a normal carpool situation you would eventually be required to use your car and spend your money driving others around. But this is not a Normal Carpool Situation, this is a Tim Ward Carpool Situation (TWCPS). In a TWCPS you avoid using your own car by making it so that the other carpool participants would rather walk barefoot on 120 degree asphalt than ride with you. You achieve this by: (a) never washing or cleaning your car. Leave it looking and smelling like the county landfill. (b) Have the worst behaved child in your family sitting in the front seat at all times. Feed the child lots of candy so he/she is always super hyper. (c) Refuse to discuss anything in your car except your spouses bad bathing habits, bodily fluids, hang nails, chest hair, etc. (d) Only play reggae music on the radio. Loud! You shouldn't have to worry about anyone wanting to ride with you ever again.


3. Ride the Bus/SubwayMany cities have a mass transit system that is an alternative to driving your own vehicle. If you live in a city that doesn't have one don't worry-you can always move. Of course, riding public transportation does have a few drawbacks, but these can be easily overcome if you follow these simple guidelines:1. No matter what happens never, ever make eye contact with anyone. Making eye contact is an invitation for someone to mug you.2. No matter what happens never, ever give up your seat to anyone. This is seen as weakness, and will be taken as an invitation to mug you. 3. No matter how tempted you are never, ever strike up a conversation with the person sitting next or across from you. This is very annoying and can be taken as an invitation for someone to mug you. Or worse, for someone to talk back.


4. Always make sure you are alert to get on and off at the right stop. Getting off at the wrong stop can lead to immediate mugging.5. Never, ever take children with you on public transportation. Fellow passengers hate children. Children make you definite mug victim material. Well, there you have it. 3 ways to deal with rising gas prices. Hopefully, you will be able to use these methods to keep from spending twice your car's Blue Book value just going to Walmart. Hopefully, next time your friends are grumbling and ranting about the mounting gas prices you will be able to just sit back and smile, content because the issue no longer concerns you. Hopefully, I've once more helped my loyal readers in a time of crisis. And all I ask in return as a simple thank you next time you see me. Just make sure we're not on the bus. I'd hate to have to mug you...

HIPAA Guidelines - How are they being inforced?

Your visit to the doctor now contains a page where you sign that you acknowledge that the physician's office has notified you about their compliance with HIPAA laws. More often than not, you probably read through quickly or barely skim the authorization form before signing it. However, HIPAA laws are important, and they are in place to protect you from identity theft, being denied care, and/or health insurance coverage.

HIPAA stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, enacted in 1996. HIPAA laws created a new national standard in protecting your health information. As you see different physicians or become admitted to different hospitals, your health information should follow you. HIPAA delineates the need to properly protect your health information as it flows through to these different channels. As more and more transactions are completed electronically these days, HIPAA laws focus on the protection of your health information specifically through these channels.

So what does HIPAA protect? For you, HIPAA protects personally identifiable health information, such as your Social Security number, birth date, address, etc., as well as current, past, or even future physical and/or mental conditions or treatment. Such information may not be disclosed except for specific uses. Information that HIPAA does not cover must specifically be personally non-identifiable. In protecting this sort of information, there is more protection against identity theft and more recourse if such a thing should happen.

HIPAA also protects how health insurance providers may use your health information. These entities may use your information without your authorization only if they are sending you information, using this information to provide the best treatment or health care, or collecting payment on medical expenses, among other things. If disclosure of your health information does not fall under these categories, you must authorize the transfer of information in writing. Furthermore, because the government understands that highly technical language can be a barrier in understanding your health information privacy rights, any authorization must be in plain language.

This may all seem like unnecessary paperwork, but beyond identity theft, HIPAA laws also help those looking for health insurance coverage. Title 1 of the HIPAA laws oversees the availability and range of health insurance plans for those without perfect health. It outlaws any health insurance plan from creating discriminatory rules to create premium rates or deny coverage. HIPAA laws are quite extensive, but this gives you a look at how your health information is being protected and used. Your department of health should be able to give you further information, or you can search the government's Web site for the entire HIPAA law.

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Is Reality TV Really Reality?

Part of the appeal of reality TV is that it offers a look into the lives of ordinary folks like you and me. No writers, no actors, just everyday folks using their strength and common sense. Why, we could be the ones up there on screen winning glorious prizes for outlasting our tribe mates or marrying a pseudo millionaire! But just how real is reality TV?

Not very, say some critics and observers. In fact, reality TV producers manipulate reality in several ways. Otherwise, the shows wouldn't attract the ratings they have. After all, who would tune in to watch people in their own homes living a perfectly average day?

The first way that reality is manipulated is that the participants are removed from their everyday environment. Whether they are marooned on an island or housed in a resort, they are fish out of water and their access to resources depends on the goodwill of the producers.

Second, the participants are placed in competition with each other. Only one person can win the grand prize, whether that prize is a cash reward, a television contract, or the love of another person. In order to stay on the show, contestants must face difficult challenges. Each show usually ends with at least one contestant being sent home. Thus the focus of reality TV is manufactured conflict.

The conflict is usually heightened by the selection of participants. Producers know that conflict means ratings, so they try to cast each show with people who are natural opponents such as an out gay man or lesbian and a homophobe or a strong, take-charge woman and a sexist man. Such pairings are almost guaranteed to keep conflict going and provide hours of arguing for the entertainment of viewers.

Finally, even with the controlled environment and the inherent conflict, reality TV shows must still be edited to create a "storyline." Editors sort through countless hours of mundane activities to find the moments fraught with tension and conflict. If two participants get along great for 99% of the day, but exchange sharp words once, it is likely the argument that you will see. Similarly if a participant says many positive things about another participant but adds, "I wish he weren't so controlling," you're likely to see only the complaint about the controlling behavior and none of the compliments that came before.

Careful editing can make smart people appear dumb, nice people seem like villains, and casual friends look like lovers.

Over and above these obvious manipulations, there is some question about whether reality TV producers go even a step further and try to manipulate the results of the competition. In 2001, for instance, Stacey Stillman sued the television program Survivor claiming that the executive producer had encouraged other contestants to vote her off the island instead of a player who was more popular with viewers. CBS, the network that airs Survivor, has vehemently denied these charges. Other series that have been accused of rigging outcomes include The Amazing Race, American Idol, and Big Brother. Even many of the staunchest reality TV fans admit to wondering if the outcomes are really as random as they are made to seem.

In the end, no one has ever been able to prove that the outcomes of these shows are fixed. One thing is certain, though. The situations in which the participants interact with each other are so carefully manipulated that they bear little, if any, resemblance to reality.

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Revolutionary Development thru Visualization and Affirmation

How accelerated learning can help you visualize your future 

Conventionally educational trainers presented to trainees information that allowed them to assess their performance. The assessment test was based on the information conducted in the training. 

One of the common methods, combines talking and chalking however, this method lost its reputation. The reputation was lost because most corporate training does not produce any change in a company's performance is because conventional training methods failed to meet common standards. 

The following is a four-phase learning cycle that provides practical classroom strategies to allow trainers to focus on true learning. These strategies use accelerated learning techniques and review activities that make understanding and retention far more likely to be interesting. 

Accelerated learning is a growing industry that is helping many people overcome learning obstacles by encouraging them to use visualization and affirmation through a repetitive learning option. In the programs, students are encouraged to create a positive environment for learning by using visualization through positive relationships. 

The common interest includes submitting preparatory kits prior to class announcement. Students are encouraged to visualize the broader picture while overviews of systematic instructions unfold. Students' curiosity is stimulated by the use of visual aids. Mental and emotional barriers are broke through affirmation or positive persuasion. 

Lively musicals and visualization help the students to brainstorm effectively while working to build their skills and abilities. Their mission is to learn quicker by involving themselves in many striking learning styles. Instead of sitting long hours in class, students learn in a structured environment where they have choices and learn in 20-minute intervals. 

Students in accelerated courses have alternatives amid physical and passive activities. Visual aids, such as video clips and the audio tapes give them strong visualization that creates effective metaphors. The students enrolled in this course showed that their memory improved. 

Personalized learning helps people to develop necessary skills to succeed in the world today. Instead of sitting long hours trying to figure out what your next move is in development, accelerated learning helps you to make the next move through effective exercises and activities that center on visualization and affirmation. 

Simple persuasive tactics, such as classroom collaboration makes up a rich interactive social environment amid teams so that they can collaborate to learn effectively. Educators must be certain to provide opportunities for individual work so pupils have time to personalize and reflect on their learning. Classroom games create room for reviews that fill in gaps. 

- Use problem solving as a way for trainees to engage with the subject matter.
Interpretation he goal of this phase is to make sure knowledge is retained and learning is continuous.
- Provide activities for trainees to show what they learned. Group trainees in teams to teach the group key points.

- Make evaluations in-class. Self-assessment of training and the trainees' self-assessment of learning are very important. Educators should ensure performance exercises allow the trainees to evaluate learning that has occurred.

- Create post-classroom learning activities and post-session resources.

- Consider measures that could be instated to ensure learning is successful.

Quick tips for enhancing learning

Mind Break
When you take breaks, it helps to improve your learning. You learn faster, since you give your mind the time to digest information learned. When you take breaks at least 15-20 minutes after each study, it helps you to learn faster. The breaks will allow your brain room to relax. You learn new information quicker and it goes into the conscious mind and subconscious mind deeper, which you will retain what you learn. 

Action steps
After you finish your break, get your trainees to erect, standing with you and start talking to someone, such as your learning partner, two minutes about the important points they have learned. Accelerated, the students can feel the power of learning as they focus their attention on recalls of learning through various strategies proven to boost memory. Maria Montessio left an imprint in accelerated learning courses.

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